The Name Is Spoiled By Who Has It Now

She loved it for two years and now she cannot hear it.

Not because it changed. Because the woman she has not spoken to since March used it in June, and now the word arrives with a face attached to it, every single time, and the face gets there about half a second before the sound does.

That is the whole mechanism. It is not complicated and it is very strong.

And here is the thing she has not admitted to herself, which is why nothing has shifted since June.

This is not really about a name.

The name is the only part of it she has been letting herself think about, because it is small and manageable and does not require anything of her.

The other thing is that there is a woman she used to see every week and has not spoken to in eight months, and there is a thing that was said, and neither of them has moved, and there is a child now that she has not met.

That is the actual weight in that house and the name has been standing in front of it.

First be reconciled to thy brother

There is an instruction of Jesus about interrupting something important, and it is startling every time.

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. (Matthew 5:24, King James Version)

You are being told to put down the thing in your hands and go, and Matthew 5:24 has never once let a broken thing between two people wait its turn. The written word interrupts an act of worship for it, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes that land on somebody who has been working on a name instead.

Look at what is being interrupted. Not a small errand. A gift at the altar. The most legitimate possible activity, halfway done.

And the instruction is: leave it there. Go. Deal with the person. Then come back.

Which means the order in that verse is the exact reverse of the order in that house. She has been working on the name, which is the gift at the altar, and leaving the person for later.

You have been holding the smaller thing because it asks nothing of you, and Scripture puts the person first and interrupts everything else. Matthew 5 says leave it there and go, and the Spirit of God is what makes the harder order possible.

What reconciliation is not

Now the practical part, because that verse gets used to bully people and I am not going to do that.

Be reconciled does not mean take the blame. It does not mean pretend a thing was not said. It does not mean the friendship goes back exactly as it was, and it does not mean she has to be the one who was wrong.

It means: go, and try, and put down the part that is yours to put down.

The outcome is not specified in that verse and it is not promised anywhere. Some things do not come back together, and Scripture knows that perfectly well and says elsewhere, as much as lieth in you.

You are asked to go and not to succeed, and no verse anywhere made the result the measure of obedience. The Holy Spirit is the one who does whatever happens after the going, and Matthew 5:24 gives an instruction about going.

And there is something specific available here that is smaller than a reconciliation and might be the whole of it.

There is a child. She has not met the child. And a visit to see a baby is a thing that exists in the world, that does not require either woman to reopen March, and that has ended more of these than any conversation ever has.

You are able to go and see a baby, and Scripture asks for the going rather than for a script. Matthew 5 interrupts the gift for the person, and the Spirit of God is what happens in a room that nobody could have arranged.

Say it once, and then decide about the person

So here is the assignment on this row, and then the thing it is standing in front of.

Say the lost name out loud once, then put it away and say a new one.

Because the name genuinely is lost to her, whatever happens with the person, and it deserves a proper ending rather than being carried around as a symptom of something else.

Once, out loud, and then a different one.

You are able to close the small thing today, and Matthew 5:24 has never once asked anybody to leave a real loss unattended. The written word is exact about order rather than dismissive of anything, and the Holy Spirit is present when a woman says a name out loud and puts it down.

And then, separately, and this is the actual page: decide about the person.

Not today necessarily. But decide, rather than letting eight months become nine and then a year, which is how these become permanent without anybody ever choosing it.

You are the one who can end this, and Scripture puts a broken thing between two people ahead of everything else in the room. The Spirit of God is with a woman who decides today rather than letting a month decide, and Matthew 5 says go, first.