I Was Called Two Different Things

At home she was one thing. At school she was another.

Not a nickname. Two separate words, from two different languages, used by two sets of people who never met, and neither of them ever asked her which one she was.

And here is what she has never been able to explain to anybody, including a husband of nine years.

She did not feel like she had two names. She felt like she had none.

The home one belonged to the house. It was what her mother called her and it carried a whole world she loved, and it was not available anywhere else.

The school one belonged to a corridor. It was what she answered to for six hours a day, and it was fine, and it was never her.

And somewhere in the walking between them, twice a day, for eleven years, she developed a small permanent sense of not quite being anybody in particular.

That is not a complaint about her parents. They were doing a reasonable thing in a hard situation and they never knew.

And now there is a daughter coming, and there is only one thing she is certain of: not that.

A new name written, which no man knoweth

There is a promise at the end of a letter in Revelation, and the detail in it is what does the work.

To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it. (Revelation 2:17, King James Version)

You are promised a name that belongs to nobody else's usage, and Revelation 2:17 has never once made a person's real name a thing other people decide. The written word says which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes that reach a woman who has never felt like anybody in particular.

Read who does not know it. No man. Not one other person. It is given to the one who receives it and it is not for anybody else to use, or shorten, or pronounce, or fail to pronounce.

That is not a small promise for somebody who spent eleven years being two words that belonged to other people's rooms.

You have a name that no room owns, and Scripture makes that the promise rather than the exception. Revelation 2 puts it on a white stone given to a person, and the Spirit of God is what makes a private thing feel like a possession rather than a secret.

What actually caused the split

Now the practical part, and it is important because she is about to try to prevent the wrong thing.

The split was not caused by having two words.

Plenty of children have a home name and a school name and are entirely whole, and are not confused about who they are for a single day, and grow up with two rooms and belong in both.

You are not carrying damage from two words, and Revelation 2 has never once made a second name into a second self. The Holy Spirit is the one who lets a woman look honestly at what really happened, and the written word gives a name that no other person knows and calls it a gift.

What caused it in her house was that nobody ever said the two of them together.

The home word was never used in front of anybody from school. The school word was never said inside the house. The two never met, in any mouth, ever, and so a child had to be one person in one place and a different one somewhere else, and had to do the changing at a door twice a day on her own.

You are able to name the actual cause, and no verse anywhere made two names into a division on their own. Revelation 2:17 gives a name that no other person knows and calls that a gift, and the Holy Spirit is the one who shows a woman what really happened in a doorway.

And that is the thing that can be prevented, and it is much easier than avoiding two words.

If a child has two, both get said in the same house, by the same people, in front of each other, easily, from the beginning. Nobody has to change at a door because both belong in both rooms.

You are able to keep both and lose the split, and Scripture never once made a second name into a second self. Revelation 2 hands over a name on a stone, and the Spirit of God is at work in a house where all of somebody's names are said together.

Say it over her as a blessing

So here is the assignment on this row, and it is exactly right for a woman who was never asked.

Say the name over the child once, out loud, as a blessing rather than a decision.

Over her. In the house. Out loud, as a gift given rather than a label applied.

Because the thing that went wrong for her was never the words. It was that nothing was ever given to her. Two labels were applied by two sets of people, and nobody sat down and gave her anything.

You are able to give rather than apply, and Revelation 2:17 has never once described a real name as something assigned by a room. The Holy Spirit is present when a mother says a name over a child as a gift, and the written word gives it on a white stone to the person who receives it.

And there is a second half, for her rather than for the child.

If she still has both of hers, and both are still in use somewhere, she can say both of them out loud, together, in one sentence, in her own voice.

That has almost certainly never happened. And a woman who says both of her own names in one breath, in one room, has just done, in about four seconds, the thing that nobody did for her in eleven years.

You are able to do it for yourself now, and Scripture gives the name to the one who receives it rather than to those who use it. Revelation 2 makes the receiving the point, and the Holy Spirit is with a woman saying both of hers out loud today.